Do you know what I have been thinking to do right now? I am thinking about a sex change procedure. To become a woman, off course.
I want to be a real one, with the whole package of vagina, breasts and an entry code to abuse men in the name of feminism.
Wow, what just happened now? Did I use feminism and men together in the same sentence?
Damn bro! That’s offending to some of the genders out there. I am sorry to offend you but I can make it better.
Let’s go back on a journey to the most romantic and yet tragic place to be in 1912. Any guesses about what happened in the year 1912?
*Something very romantic yet scary.
Let me save you from this mental task; it was the Titanic.
The ship which sank in the Atlantic Ocean. As many of you have seen the movie, women got the opportunity to leave in the rescue boats and men were left to die.
P.S. *Jack too…God, I cried like a baby when Jack died*
Well, men didn’t know about feminism back then. If by any chance, a feminist was present in that boat, she could have taken a better decision to let some men get on those lifeboats.
P.S. Only those men who didn’t had their penises on them probably.
Since men didn’t know about feminism back then and they were sympathetic and gentle. They allowed women to save their own lives and live to tell the tales. I was a little confused about all of this. So, I asked one of my supposed ‘Feminazi-female-friend’ about this heartbreaking story of titanic. Her response to saving ‘all-the-women-and-not-men‘ theory was mind-boggling.
She said and I quote, “Women were saved because they provide lives! So when one woman dies, so does her 2000 eggs. That’s 2000 lives lost”.
That’s the most brilliant answer I have ever heard to a question. The presence of a uterus cannot be used as a token to get ahead in everything. That’s what anti-feminist men and women think. Not me, off course.
So, let’s revise again what’s feminism actually means in these confusing and offending times.
Quite simply, feminism is about all genders having equal rights and opportunities. Not just women but men too. But the whole concept of feminism has become all about hating men now and women love it. Actually, a lot of them do.
But who am I to generalize all the women?
*Meanwhile SOME pseudo feminists: All men are dogs!
I wish that we were dogs. Dogs are loyal, faithful, and energetic. They don’t have a hidden agenda against anyone in their hearts and always are super happy. So in a way, being called a dog is a compliment in itself.
Coming to the whole concept of decoding feminism, it means equal rights for all, irrespective of gender and sex. It’s not about creating an absurd scenario where blaming patriarchy for everything is encouraged. But to look into issues where equality is harmed.
Men: we pee standing up…
Feminists: OMG so did Hitler…
(This is definitely not how you should solve a problem)
When you turn a set of beliefs into an institution, there is a huge problem. An institution tries to save itself first. So, a feminist institution creates a group of individuals, who believe that a ‘Penis is a form of a needle, which men use to deflate the progress of women.’
Now a group is a terrible place to be. It justifies the beliefs that make you realize that your group is superior and need to be heard. That’s where things go wrong.
As the comedian George Carlin once put it: “I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a ‘common purpose’. Because pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they’re going to visit at 3 am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people. But I love individuals.”
Now, feminism is required to safeguard people who are weak and we dare not to pretend to see the fact that some people are weaker. I hate to say this but some people are weaker and they need protection. Feminism should do that instead of blaming men for everything.
At least this generation’s feminists are doing it, blaming everything on patriarchy.
But the previous generations of feminists ensured their fellow women to have the Right to vote, opportunity to get an equal education, addressed the domestic violence issue and etc.
But now the pseudo feminists are all in for getting offended over anything that degrades their sense of being themselves that they want the world to perceive them.
Do you want to increase the percentage of women in Engineering?
If yes, then be an engineer and help other women to be one.
Wish to increase the participation of women in politics?
Then run to be a political leader.
So, be the change you want to see in the world and then go preach about the men not being supportive enough…
P.S. Holding a door or paying for food doesn’t mean that women get devoid of opportunities for equality. It just means that we as men care for you and love you.
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW
People have become too busy policing other people’s thoughts and opinions that they have lost track of what actually matters.
Akash Rout is a jolly old fella who writes non-fiction as well as fiction. He is known for his rebellious yet subtle form of satires and humor. An aspiring stand-up comic with a science background. So, give him a break, will you!