“I Had a Miscarriage”: How The Death Of a Child Traumatizes The Mother?

I and my husband were expecting our first child after several complications. We both had thought of names for our baby and everything was going fine when one afternoon I saw blood over the bathroom floor. It looked like flesh in the shape of a baby.

I got worried and had severe cramps but my friends said I was just worrying too much.

My husband took me to the hospital. We got to the doctor’s chamber and a nurse told me to get on the bed and put my feet up in the stirrups. I was going to have an ultrasound. I did so, she got the transvaginal device all prepared. She told me to relax and inserted the device.

Several minutes passed by, and I was waiting for her to say something and then she said, ‘I’m sorry, but this doesn’t look like a 9-week pregnancy, there’s no heartbeat.’

My heart sank for a while. She showed me the image and it didn’t look right. It felt like someone had harvested my heart out of my chest.

I didn’t know I was crying until the nurse handed me a tissue.
It was a miscarriage and I lost my child. Several weeks passed but I could not get out of this trauma.
I felt like a failed wife and mother.

Events that result in loss of a foetus before 20 weeks of pregnancy is termed as Miscarriage. It is a spontaneous abortion by which the body rejects the foetus/baby/zygote after implantation.

Miscarriages can happen to anyone and many a time they are not under someone’s control.

These Are Marked By –

• Vaginal bleeding

• Discharge of fluid from the vagina

• Severe cramps and back pain.

• Pelvic pain

The rate of miscarriages increases with age.

Causes –

• People who are underweight or overweight

• Consuming drugs or excessive caffeine

• Smoking or have problems with uterus/cervix is more prone to miscarriages.

• Abnormal hormone level

• Exposure to toxic agents and radiation

Prevention –

• It is important to have good prenatal care.

• Alcohol, drugs, smoking while pregnancy should be avoided.

• Healthy diet should be ensured.

• Exercise regularly

• Contact your doctor when you feel ill or have excessive cramps and bleeding.

When someone is going through a miscarriage that does not indicate, they cannot conceive again in future. They are likely to experience low energy, maybe depression or may have the guilt of not having the baby.

We cannot feel the pain that a mother goes through during this time but we can support them mentally by telling them, it’s okay to grieve, it’s okay to feel sad and cry for a lost loved one.

Try to be with them through their emotional and physical breakdowns and ensure them that they can be pregnant again and yes it’s normal for them to take time before trying to have a baby again.

Ankita Behera

Ankita Behera is an undergraduate in a bachelor of technology. An amateur writer and a keen nature lover who loves traveling. When asked about life, she says that she is trying to manipulate the truths & realities of her life and weave meaningful stories out of them.