I experimented with myself the other day that I wouldn’t touch my phone that whole day.
A complete cycle of the day would go by and I wouldn’t be touching my phone.
That seemed way too easy to me because lately I had been hanging out with some old people and I had seen them chilling at any given point of time.
I also want to chill because freshly, I felt that I have become so busy nowadays, doing nothing productive but moving a lot, from one app to another.
What I do you ask?
Well, I debate with people from different parts of the world about the misinformation that is being present on the internet; I watch a lot of educational videos that are titled ‘Lazy cat videos compilations’ or sometimes I have my share of laughter by watching stand-up specials because laughter is important.
*Ramdev baba told me this
That’s a lot of work for an average student who has only 24 hours a day.
Moreover, that’s a difficult habit to maintain because you have to be active on the internet to slam those innocent bastards over an issue, on which you too have a foggy idea.
I don’t need to know about the issue or its guidelines, basically any crystal clear thing about the topic, but I do know how to argue. I would not hesitate to give an example of a 70 years old incident to prove my point that has nothing to do with our current argument. But that’s fair to me!
Also, I don’t want to be on social media but I have to be present, on all of them because I want the people to know that I have a social life too.
I do have toast and coffee in the morning because I have to put up a picture of it on my Instagram story.
I have to make sure that these rascals understand the way I think. The things I am worried about.
How can a sect of our population is not feeling well because the government is not worried about them and it’s MY JOB, to reveal the evil intentions of the men in power and to protect the poor.
It’s my job entirely, to prove a random person wrong by giving him random data that prove my inadequate hollow suspicions.
To prove him wrong, in his belief of conjecture by establishing my conjecture, with facts that are made by a random person, who believes in my speculation of the truth is a very tough job to have.
This job doesn’t pay me anything but I can sleep peacefully knowing that I have destroyed that man’s entire belief that China is responsible for this Corona pandemic.
China doesn’t give a fuck about my opinions but I tried my best to prove that wrong and my opinions do matter.
In this free world of internet, I have a voice; I can stand out for myself and for others, who also don’t give a fuck about my opinions but hey, respect MoFos.
So I was a little tired from all this shit show and I gave myself a day to restrain my hard feelings to correct a random person.
I was off the internet for a day and I spent the whole day thinking about the fact that if my father dies in a hypothetical scenario, then would I be able to earn money for my family?
Can I save them from being ‘starved to death’ in this whole hypothetical scenario where I just killed my father?
About 8 hours went past and I had evaluated my current skills set and to my utter disbelief, I realized that I not only possessed one but no evident skills, to earn a living.
That was hard for me to accept because I know I am a pretty good orator, a social activist and human rights believer, and all of the cool things that exist on the internet.
I am all of that and I have a high score in the Candy Crush game. Moreover, I have an unlimited supply of movies and series where I learn so much about people like Joey, Ross, Sheldon Cooper, Khaleesi of Game of Thrones, and many more and still, I cannot save myself from dying off of hunger.
That’s sad on so many levels.
Damn! I might have cleared NEET by now.
That was a way too critical revelation for a man whose entire skill set is defined by the fact that whether the internet is active or not.
I was so scared by this whole ‘knowing myself’ dare of putting my phone away for a day, that for the next 16 hours, I cried, cried as hard as I could, for those precious unlimited hours I wasted on the internet, developing a name for myself that nobody cares about and I was shit scared for the fact that I have no life outside of it.
*Nobody saw me crying though
I don’t have any real friends, only digital ones.
I don’t have an actual life, outside of Facebook or Instagram or YouTube and I am nothing without my phone.
*You always thought that you are living inside an imaginary box and the box was later found to be an 8-inch screen. That’s infinitely petrifying.
I experienced an epiphany where I got to know the directions towards which my life was heading. Now I have to make sure that I have a skill set on which I can rely to make a decent amount of money and I was so excited for the next day to begin because I knew what to do and how to turn out to be a different person, who is aware of the fact that he was in a deep hole.
So after months of trying to do what I had planned, I now have a new high score in Candy Crush and I binge-watched the entire season of ‘The Witchers’.
P.S. It’s not easy to match similar color candies in a game and binge-watch the entire season of 1 hour-long episode of Henry Cavill, taking pauses like a saas-bahu serial in Star plus.
Akash Rout is a jolly old fella who writes non-fiction as well as fiction. He is known for his rebellious yet subtle form of satires and humor. An aspiring stand-up comic with a science background. So, give him a break, will you!